You've got Mail
by leafs nation
Summary: Father's Day is approaching, and Kenny's feeling the blues as he reminisces on the times he missed with his son over the years. With only the company of a quiet eleven year old and a four month old baby boy, he tries to keep his spirits high to bolster morale. However, once he lets his walls tumble down, he realizes that his old life was ruined only to have a new one fill the gap.


_You've got mail! You've got mail! You've got –_

"Urgh… yeah, I get it," Kenny groans, fumbling in the dark for his phone as he tries to reach out on the bedside table. The thing's a piece of shit as far as cell service is concerned, and when the plastic device actually _does_ manage to work, its incessant ringing and obnoxiously loud voiceover makes him want to chuck the thing as hard as he can against the wall. It'd be pretty satisfying just to watch it shatter into a billion pieces… but cell phones, no matter how shitty they might be, aren't always easy (or cheap) to replace. With new ones coming out all the time these days, it's easy for Kenny to get left behind in terms of technology.

But whatever… one thing that he can at least be thankful for is that Duck hasn't hit his teenage years yet. Kenny's not even sure that the kid could operate one even if he wanted to, anyways.

Rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them as he leans on his side, the fisherman pushes the power button as his nimble fingers scroll through the message; his vision taking a while to stop from being so damn blurry. Who would be texting him at this ungodly hour? The sun hasn't even started to rise yet, for crying out loud!

"Shit…" he curses after reading through to the end, holding the phone in his lap as he sighs in misery. Of course he'd forget about Father's Day… being out on the ocean for the third week in a row now, he had completely forgotten about the one day of the year where he and Duck would actually do something for a change – father and son.

Katjaa's given him an earful through text, and he can't help but admit that he really deserves it this time. Duck had sounded so excited about it over the phone, too…

 _C'mon, Ken, pull yourself together! What's one day gonna hurt around here,_ he scolds himself, glancing over at his alarm clock only to realize that he had actually slept in more than anything else. Drawing the curtains and cursing under his breath after seeing that it was only dark in his room, Kenny guiltily scans the blasted device once more… only to come to a decision.

"Gotta put bread on the table…" he sighs, making a mental note to himself that even though he's not going to be home for yet another Father's Day, he'll be sure to call the house just to hear his family's voices. Assuming that the small crew he's assembled actually shows up on time and sober today, he shouldn't have much of a problem with handing over the steering wheel to one of the sailors and taking a five minute call.

Slipping into his jeans, giving himself a once-over in the mirror and neglecting to take a shower this morning, seeing's how he's gonna come back to the hotel smelling like fish anyways, Kenny plants a kiss on his photo of Katjaa in a hospital gown sitting on a bed before making his exit. That was perhaps the single proudest moment of the guy's life – the birth of their son. He wouldn't be able to tell you the exact feelings that he experienced early that morning, since he's still not sure that there would be enough words for _ecstatic_ in the dictionary for him to list off.

That was the day, he always noted, that he finally became a real man with real responsibilities. It wasn't just himself that he had to look out for anymore.

Quickly snagging his orange fishing hat off of the key rack near the front door, he heads out into the hallway and sprints towards the elevator. He's decided to work extra hard today so that he can head back home and tell Duck that he caught an extra big haul for him and his mom.

That, if nothing else, should be enough to get him to smile.

…..

"Kenny? Did you hear me?"

If he had been paying even the slightest bit of attention to the world surrounding him, the answer he'd be giving would most likely be no. The guy's got far too much occupying his thoughts to pay much mind to the company he's keeping, even if it's an eleven year old girl carrying around a four month old baby boy.

The building he's standing in front of is pretty decrepit, as is the case with most of the ones that the survivors have been coming across ever since leaving Wellington together. Largely left in disrepair as nature has been doing its work, with various tree branches bursting through the shattered windows as green moss covers the tile floors and fungus sticks out of the various desks and garbage receptacles, Kenny can't seem to tear his gaze away from the sign up on top. To most, an abandoned post office wouldn't exactly spark any emotional attachment, as is mainly the case here.

But Kenny finds it memorable for a different reason.

"You've got mail…" he whispers on the wind, finding the whole concept to be a little more than he can handle. He knows that beating himself up over the fact is only going to serve in causing him more despair, but he can't help it. Father's Day, the month just prior to when all of this started, and he wasn't there to share it with his boy… his family.

That regret stings like a motherfucker, and he can't get it out of his system no matter how hard he tries.

Stepping out from some of the prickly bushes with a wince, Clementine, exhausted from having walked through most of the day, appears puzzled as to why her friend would just be standing there like a statue. "Earth to Kenny?" she jokes, walking ahead of him as she hands off the baby to his outstretched arms. "We should probably check inside, don't you think? Maybe we can find some hidden goodies laying around."

"…sure, yeah…" he mutters, only half-listening as Clementine frowns in concern. Deciding to give him some space for a little while, figuring that he probably needs it from time to time, the girl hesitantly heads on inside the abandoned building for herself; searching under chairs and inside every nook and cranny that she can find. Molly had taught her a thing or two back then about people leaving certain things unchecked.

AJ whines in the old man's arms as Kenny absentmindedly rocks him to and fro, but all that he can think of right now is that one day. That one fucking day that he decided to try and earn some extra money instead of coming home to his family.

In hindsight, he wishes now more than ever that he had realized just how important those days should've been, given that fate had declared him as being the one to lose it all shortly thereafter.

Stepping on broken shards of window pane as he slowly ventures inside, Kenny scans the area for walkers before giving the post office a quick once-over. Not much to it, really. Aside from a bunch of cubbies with some of the sealed letters still sticking outside of them along the wall, the only real things worth noting are the desks huddled around on one end of the store for defense purposes. Looks as though whoever was living here had made a fairly hasty (and shitty, by normal standards) fortification job, and by the blood smears on some of the desks and along the floor, it appears that they weren't very successful. He can't help but wonder if this poor sod even lasted a week like this.

Kenny's still surprised that _they_ had even lasted longer than a week, given that they were basically flat-out denied upon stumbling up to the gates of Wellington. Edith had made it pretty clear that they weren't accepting new members at the time, but had suggested that in a few months' time, they may have been accepting new members.

 _Fucking liar_ , Kenny thinks to himself bitterly, still reeling after a second attempt to get into the walled community failed. He had considered trying to bust his way in guns blazing just for the hell of it, but thankfully decided that that would be a very stupid idea. Besides, with the snow having started to melt, the nights weren't quite as cold as they had been before.

Kenny had gotten so used to having Clem and AJ sleeping up against his stomach that he felt almost naked and defenseless when they didn't have to do that anymore. He'd be lying if he said that he didn't partially enjoy the feeling of having the kids nestled up against him – it actually gave him a comfort and strength that he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Nothing will replace the son that he lost, but Clem and AJ have given him a purpose again. The ship captain had been without a paddle for so very long, and some nights he had actually laid awake just wondering what the hell the point was of living a second longer in this hell of a world.

"AHH!" Clementine briefly shrieks as a gun goes off, causing Kenny to spring into action as he rounds the corner and spots the girl just outside; panting heavily with her hands on her knees as a walker lies dead on the forest floor.

"You alright?" he asks worriedly, not having to exit out the front again since one of the walls has basically been torn down. "Jesus… I heard you scream and thought that it might've been all over. You good, sweetie? The critter didn't scratch ya, did he?"

Shaking her head, Clementine steadies herself before placing her pistol back into her pocket. "No, I'm fine, thanks…" she acknowledges, glancing down at her fresh kill with a hint of malice. "The thing just got the jump on me when I was heading out here. Sorry for scaring you, Kenny."

"There ain't no need to apologize. You're safe, and that's all that matters."

Smiling up at his tired gaze, Clementine opens up her arms to take back the little one as she heads back into the post office. Their bond may not have been the strongest to begin with, and they've had their fair share of bumps in the road like anyone else, but the two of them respect each other – as survivors, equals, and most importantly, friends.

Undoing the strap of the green supply bag from his shoulder – the third one that they've been given from Edith now, much to the man's chagrin – Kenny beckons for the two of them to head back inside of the post office where it's relatively warm and dry. "Sun's goin' down soon. May as well make camp here for tonight," he advises, which Clementine can agree on as she gives a resounding nod of approval. "Is it your turn for the fire tonight? Or mine?"

"Mine – definitely mine. You've done it for the past three nights in a row," she chuckles, feeling a little annoyed at his insistence to head out into the cold each night to look for whatever they can scrounge together as firewood. "I'll try and do it as fast as I can, okay? AJ looks a little hungry tonight," she points out, clutching onto one of his tiny hands as the boy looks about ready to cry.

Gruffly agreeing as he takes the kid back, Kenny watches as the eleven year old girl wanders back out into the forest; keeping her gun out in front of her this time as to not repeat the same mistake. "Well he ain't the only one…" he mumbles, smirking down at the little bundle of joy with the only good eye that he has remaining. The pain of Carver's blow has subsided over the past few months, but the damage, unfortunately, was irreversible. No matter how many days that he's waited for the swelling to go down, Kenny just can't get his eye to work properly anymore. The eyelid won't even open an inch, leaving him permanently blind on the left side of his face.

The man would take a thousand blows, however, just to spend one more moment as a loving father and husband. That's something that he'd be able to lay down his life for.

…..

Crackling flames dance in the dark as the room is illuminated by its soft glow. It brings a warm feeling to the old man's heart as he watches Clementine boiling up the baby formula over the campfire, but observing her and the baby sitting across from him also grants him a sense of disappointment; of what _could've_ been happening.

Shoving the white-hot embers at the bottom with a stick, Kenny breathes out through his nose as he closes his eye and leans his head back against an old antique mailbox. This has to be one of the shittiest locations they've stayed in for a while now, but anything's better than the dirt.

"…Clem?" he suddenly asks, piquing the girl's interest slightly as she starts to feed AJ from the milk bottle. "Why… why didn't you do as I asked?"

"I think you're gonna need to be more specific than that."

"Back when we first arrived at Wellington," he elaborates, not really caring for the sarcasm when he's trying to make a point of things. "I told you to take Alvie and stay there… why didn't you? You wouldn't have to stay out here just barely making it day to day, and the two of you would be able to live life… well, _normally_. Fuck campfires, you could've been sleeping in a bed, for god's sakes!"

Surprised that it had taken him this long to bring it up more than anything else, Clementine waits for AJ to have his fill before settling him down a little bit on her lap. Mulling it over for a little while, she stares at the ground steadily as she gives him a reply of her own.

"If we had gone inside," she asks, having been lingering over the possible outcomes for days on end, "then what would _you_ have done?"

Kenny is about to come up with an answer straight away, but the knowing look that the girl is sending over gives him a moment to pause and reflect. There's more to that question than it actually implies, and it almost seems as if Clementine's just trying to confirm her suspicions, not actually ask him what would've happened were that the case.

"You… you think I would've…?" he cuts himself off, blabbering like a fool as he stumbles over his own sentences. It hurts him inside to think that Clementine would believe he would kill himself, but the real sad part is that in a way… she's actually right to think so. "…I wouldn't have gone out without a fight, I can tell you that much. Probably would've tried to take out some walkers before the end," he reveals, causing the young girl to frown as he continues talking regardless. "It's just… fuck, how do I put this? You and AJ there… y'all are my anchor right now, and if anything were to happen to either of ya… it'd be the death of me. Knowing that the two of you could be in capable hands, with people better than me… what more could I ask for, you know? I'd go out knowing that for once in my life… I did the right thing."

Staying silent for a moment, Clementine suddenly stands up and wanders on over to Kenny's side; resting her head against him as he in turn wraps an arm securely around the girl's shoulders. Hearing the guy's heartbeat against his chest soothes her troubled mind, but not enough to send her to sleep.

"Then I'm glad I didn't go in there without you," she tells him, meaning every word as she feels his fingers lightly rubbing her back. "…this is about your family, isn't it? You must really miss them…"

"…every day of my life, Clem. Every damn day."

Knowing that these heart to heart talks with the old fisherman are pretty hit and miss when it comes to making him feel better, Clementine decides to trust her gut and delve deeper. "They were lucky to have you," she states, leaving Kenny feeling oddly quiet despite not entirely agreeing with that sentiment himself. "Lee had told me once that if anyone were fit to be a dad, it'd be you. He was always really proud of you, Kenny… I was too, I think. I still am. I'm sure Duck and Katjaa would be as well."

Feeling his eye swell up as unshed tears start to collect, Kenny opens up a little bit as he recalls some stories from his past life; including Duck's birthdays, family outings and mini vacations, times spent out and around the city of Fort Lauderdale… all right up until Clementine slowly starts to feel herself nod towards sleep.

With AJ already on that route, Kenny decides to stop his little reminiscence session before he breaks down for about the millionth time; forcing himself to stay awake in order to take first and last watch. The kids need their sleep more than he does, as far as he's concerned.

However, this isn't before he hears Clementine's soft voice calling out to him yet again – the tone sounding like an angel in his ears as he smiles sadly.

"I could tell how much Duck cared about you – I could see it in his eyes. He loved you, and wherever he is now… I'm sure he still does," Clementine yawns, feeling her eyelids start to droop as she leans her head sleepily on the man's chest. "Happy Father's Day, Kenny…"

With so much running through his head at the moment, it would be easy for him to allow grief and misery to overcome him as it has so many times prior. However, the young charge's words have pulled at his heartstrings, and he can't help but shake his head and wonder how he was blessed enough to be given a second chance to make things right. AJ and Clementine might not be blood-related, but to him, they may as well be. He cares enough for them to think of the two as his own family.

Katjaa had always wanted a daughter, too, and Duck probably would've loved having a sister so that he could bug her all day long.

He had wanted to die so badly before, just so that he could see his wife and son on the other side. But perhaps, thanks to some unforeseen circumstances, he can postpone that doom date for a little while longer.

Give the devil his due, but until then, Kenny's still got something worth fighting for.

Planting a kiss on her head, Kenny checks up on AJ one last time before starting his night shift.


End file.
